Wedding behaviour quite generally is quite reserved and well behaved but of course for the fair few that forget themselves it means rowdy, loud, flashanybodypartthatyoucan to hook up behaviour, which nevertheless keep us entertained anyway. Why pay for entertainment when you can just round up your drunk and disorderly friends and it’s free!

How many of you can safely say you have been to a wedding where no one has acted out of ‘conduct’? Not many of you I assume. But honestly nothing beats the minute you stomach knots and your mouth drops when evidently you have not little wrong but are in sheer shock for the drunk fellow who screamed out ‘get ya rat out!’ across the reception hall while the best man and/or groom make their speech. Or better still when the groom gets so blind drunk that his speech is slurred and he begins to reveal the intimate details of your sex life and makes a connection to you inheriting the skills from your mum – who at this point has turned pale and looks as though she is about to fall off her chair. Yes we have all sat through them, I know I have, the many speeches that sound more like 21^st speeches rather than wedding speeches and as shocked as we are we still can’t help but to laugh as we remember back, can’t help but try so hard to wipe the unintentional smirk of our faces when the family of the bride or groom sink their heads in their hands.

Once the speeches are underway, it’s off to the dance floor where individuals tend to make a mark not only with their atrociously bad dance moves but also their inappropriate A-D-H-D actions to which the entire room gets a sneak peak if not the full show of the lacey pink bra and brief set.  Let us spear a thought for the elderly who suffer from severe heart palpitations (especially the men) if not near heart attacks as your best friends buns are on display. But of course whilst in the happy boppy mood tearing up the dance floor and after a few drinks or drink in hand, people tend to abide by the ‘honesty is the best policy’ rule dishing out just about anything  like telling the mother of one of the hot groomsmen that you’ve always wanted to shag him. 

Although the drunken Conrad of yours doesn’t usually remember the events of the night, the most fun of their wildly inappropriate behaviour is relaying the story to them, the look on their face ... Priceless! What’s a wedding without a bit of spice and something nice ...probably plain boring.

 

“Straight to the Ass”

 This too-familiar phrase seems to be making a common occurrence around the work-place at the moment, I have noticed of late. Used as a way to motivate and restrain your friends and colleagues from eating that richchocolateamazingcreamfilled delight.

 It led me to wonder, should we appreciate this “motivation” or be offended by it..?

 In an ideal world, I’m sure we would all love to detest all foods fatty and full of sugar;   love to get up at ease at 6am to do our daily work out and always have the time to make a nutritious yet delicious meal. This, however, is not the reality for many of us (horrifying, I know!)

 Being girls, we all have a weakness; whether it be chocolate, hot chips or in my case oodles of cheese; brie, blue, cheddar, tasty, parmesan, feta. You name it; I will have devoured it in seconds. But what would life be, without these indulgences, that make us sigh when we take the first bite…I mean, I am really hard-pressed to think of anything else I enjoy more!

 Food is such an obtrusive part of life; it exudes vitality and is necessary to our existence on this earth, it often has great cultural significance not to mention it is a great way to share love, life and laughter with family and friends.

 My favorite past-time is to go out to dinner with the girls, whether it be Thai, Japanese, Greek, Vegetarian-anything! I mean, sharing a scrumptious meal with friends, experimenting and trying out new restaurants and cuisines and enjoying a bottle of wine, or two. There really is nothing better!

 I am lucky to have amazing friends that share my passion for food. There are never “I’ll just have a salad’s” (unless we are talking an incredible Thai beef salad or something jam-packed with yumminess!) and protests about dessert.

 As girls, we all have issues about image and self-esteem to a degree; it is how we interpret these feelings that react to them that is important. We should all support each other on being beautiful no matter what shape and size we are, as everybody is different, and to be honest, being skeletal is not attractive!

 It is time to embrace your curves, if you’ve got them. Think Christina Hendricks, Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian. I mean hello, these women are stunning!

 Kardashian has openly admitted she eats whatever she wants, and enjoys her food. What a refreshing change!

 Eat healthily because you want to; because you like the way you feel when you get wholesome, nutritious food. Not because you feel like you have to. How unhappy does that make us?

 So next time you eat a chocolate bar, smile and enjoy it; enjoy every mouthful and ditch the regret.

 If it works for Kim Kardashian, well it works for me.

 After all, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of junk in the trunk!